Just Me

Officially Closed

2010-06-16T20:57:00.001-07:00

So...we finally broke down and decided to stop trying and posting on multiple blogs and are having just one for the two of us. So, there will be no more posts here and you should check us out at:

brysonandwhitney.blogspot.com

What do you think?

2010-06-14T16:49:00.000-07:00

So...I'm having to write my own course packet for the Basic Vocal Skills class I am teaching this fall. Every book that I read seems to be a bit odd in how it teaches to sing. (odd=different than how I think it should be taught, but I've earned the right to think it should be different!) For heavens sake, one goes into detail about the four functions of the glottis (one of which is defecation, in case you were wondering...)

So, I wrote my introduction to the class, and I'm curious if this would make you excited to learn to sing? I know it piddles out at the end, I'm working on that:

Learning to Sing

Basic Vocal Techniques

I remember the first time I got on a bike. My little 10 year old body climbed over the frame my mother was holding up while I tried to figure out all of these new places to put my hands and my feet, where I was supposed to sit, and figuring out this new motion that meant that I was pedaling. It was a completely different world than walking (something that I’m sure was as difficult to figure out, since I seem to have blocked it out of my memory), and I wasn’t completely sure that I could really pull it off.

My biggest concern was falling over, so my mom’s promise was that she would hold on to the seat while I pedaled to make sure I stayed upright. As I started pedaling, though, she redacted her promise and I soon found myself alone, pedaling for my life trying to stay upright. While I was excited that I was riding a bike and staying balanced, I soon learned that there was a whole world of skills I had not yet learned related to bike riding. For example, as I came upon the gravel pit marked by a “No Trespassing” sign, I was unable to turn and avoid certain failure. Once I had entered the gravel pit, I was unable to figure out how to brake and effectively stop the bike. My only solution was to abandon ship, and I soon found myself on the ground with my new bike several feet away.

Years later, as an adult, I decided to return to bicycling, both as a way to keep in shape and a way to explore new territory. Perhaps my first ride after decades of not being on a bike was a bit ambitious. After driving several miles up into the mountains, only to discover that the trail was one constant and steep climb, I discovered that it was much too much work for my significantly weak lungs and out of shape legs. Fortunately, I have a good wife who encourages me to stick with things and convinced me to keep riding, starting with less demanding trails. In a very short time I was back in shape and ready to attack the very same trail I had tried at first, and was much more successful. While there are still skills to master and strength to gain, I can see the progress I have made, and am willing to continue mastering the skills I’ve learned.

Some of you are coming into this class to sing for the first time, while some of you have been at it for years. Many of you may have sung years ago and are looking forward to singing again. In many cases, the situation is the same for each of you. To learn to sing well you have to coordinate a variety of processes, from breathing correctly to moving your lips, tongue, and soft palate into the right place, all way staying open and relaxed. In addition, there are hundreds of tiny muscles inside your voice box that you can’t even feel (let alone see) that need to be coordinated so that you can change the pitch and even the intensity of your voice. Many of these muscles will have never been used in the way that we will ask you to in class.

As a result, your muscles may feel like they are rebelling, and you may think that the best solution is to just dive off the machine you’ve set in motion. Don’t give into that temptation! Remember that the muscles related to your voice are simply learning how to do something new, and that is going to take time and patient repetition for them to be able to have the strength to be successful at it.

Just like in my first mountain biking excursion as an adult, as a singer you cannot begin singing the most difficult of music in the loudest voice at the widest range. Instead you have to start with basic exercises that will help to train and strengthen the muscles to be prepared for that big, dramatic moment. Every chapter we will talk about a different aspect of your voice, give you an opportunity to discover and become more aware of the muscles or the sounds that we are trying to pay attention to, explain to you what is happening in your voice, and give you some exercises to practice at home so that your body will get more effective at the new technique you have just learned.

Learning to sing can be broken down into three major areas that are best approached by looking at the three parts of a bicycle horn: the bulb, the honk, and the horn. Squeezing the bulb pushes air through the honk, creating a sound that then bounces around in the bulb to make that unique sound that sends pedestrians scattering. In the voice, the breath (the bulb) pushes air through the vocal folds (the honk) and create sounds that bounce around the spaces in the head, the mouth, and the nose (the horn) until it final comes out to make a beautiful singing voice. As a singer, we have to learn how to work each part of the voice independently so that they can work together to make a beautiful sound. Each section will deal with one of these three areas. While we may leave one area for awhile to work on something different, keep practicing the exercises so that you are ready to learn more advanced techniques when we come back to that part of the voice.

Another big part of learning to sing is finding beautiful music to sing. In this class, we want to expose you to a wide variety of different types of songs that you can sing. Some will be familiar to you, while some will be completely different. All of them, however, will be beautiful and fun to sing. Take advantage of these opportunities to try something new. While it may not be your favorite flavor, it might be something you like to come back to every so often, and it definitely increases your versatility as a singer.

As we work together this semester, remember that singing should always be fun! Every opportunity that you have to sing, either with the class or in front of the class is an opportunity to do something that you love enough to join us for this semester. Our goal is to help you to have fun and to learn ways to be a better singer.

Lesson Learned

2010-06-09T08:17:00.001-07:00

So...for my Music Appreciation Course that I'm teaching this fall, I'm getting all gung-ho about getting things lined up early. My goal for each of my classes is to have the first 8 lectures (first month) prepared (or at least powerpointed...) so that I am ready to go. I still am going to have a lot of work once I get there, so I'm hoping this gives me a chance to keep my feet under me this first semester.

I found a really fun text for the course and started getting my lectures ready. This text was particularly attractive, because it had some powerpoint slides that I could already use, as well as a test bank that works very nice for midterms, etc. So I've made it all the way up to my first midterm (about 8 or 9 classes in) and I decide its time to talk to the textbook manager at the school to make sure I can get the text ordered.

Whoops.

Turns out they bought back a text from last semester that I need to use at least for this first semester. its a fine text, and the students will still learn what they need to. It just means I have to go back and read another book and make sure that my lectures line up with what they are teaching....ugh.

Starting over....

Finally some pictures!

2010-06-06T19:04:00.000-07:00

I've gone on the Bonneville shoreline ride several times, but I always forget to bring Whitney's camera along! I'll admit that part of why I "forget" is because I'm afraid that I'll endo on the bike and ruin her camera, so I wanted to do it enough of times that I felt comfortable in the ride. Anyway, here are some pictures! In other news, Whitney's been playing with Adobe Lightroom, and did just a wee bit of editing on these pictures, don't they look great?

A panorama of the starting point for the trail, absolutely beautiful!

I think these views are so fun!

Fourth Try's....the charm?

2010-05-29T11:15:00.001-07:00

I took this picture with Whitney's panorama feature on her new camera. This is the meadow about half a mile up the ride. This is the first ride I did when I rented a bike, and tried again the after I bought the bike, and tried AGAIN when my buddy rented a bike and came with me. Every time I've been a little bit better.

This time was the best by far. I stopped about half as often, didn't fall off my bike (only on the one really steep hill), and really enjoyed the ride! I ran into a few fellow mountain bikers, one college student - we rode together for a few legs - and a whole group of bikers who were pretty good at giving me some examples (as I followed them) on how to do better riding down the trail. It was awesome!

The Little Engine that Could

2010-05-27T08:40:00.000-07:00

I didn't take this picture. I keep forgetting to grab Whitney's camera when I go places, partially because I don't want to ruin it (it is a pretty nice little handheld). I borrowed this from utahmountainbiking.com so you can kind of see what the trail is like. this would be one of the smoother portions..:)

I really wasn't sure I was ready to go back on this trail. I tried it last Thursday and had a really rough time. It was a lot of fun because there were lots of ups and downs, but I kept having to stop on the ups (at a certain point the bike starts to tip over and you have no choice but to put a foot down) and ride my brakes on the downs (they were pretty steep). I kept planning on going at it again, but I just freaked myself out and decided to do other rides or sleep (after all, the book does say I should rest every couple of days or so). I couldn't come up with any excuse, so I decided to try it again.

I've learned quite a bit since I last tried this, and I felt pretty good about myself. I think I handled the gear shifts a lot better; I would either find myself in too high or WAY too low of a gear every time I would try a climb last time. This time I found the right gear a lot more often and just kept on trucking away. It was a crazy feeling to just crouch forward and keep on pedaling (looking at the top of the climb was pretty intimidating) and then all of the sudden find yourself at the top!

I felt more comfortable on the downhills, too! Partially because I knew where the turns were so I could prep for them, but also because I trusted the bike a lot more, and it was a lot of fun!

There are so many times in my life (particularly when I was younger) where I would try something once. If I failed, I gave up on it, if I was successful I kept going with it. The same old habits started to kick in here. I didn't necessarily fail last time, but I wasn't all that good at it... I'm so glad I didn't give up! Our home teachers came over last night (bless their hearts, they called at 5:30 because one had realized he'd be out of town all weekend and asked to come over at 7) but the message was about how change in the gospel sense is the result of repeated good choices, not some dramatic moment. Whitney has been reading in her new favorite book that sudden changes in weight - fad diets, overexercise, etc. - are not lasting. The only way to have success - to achieve lasting change - is to keep going at what we know is right, even when the payoff seems so small, or even non-existent.

One of my favorite quotes that I put on the board in choir is by Anna Pavolova: "To tend unfailing, unflinchingly toward a goal; that is the secret of success." I think that sums it up pretty well!

This wasn't the most well crafted thought I've had, but its something that's been sticking with me today.

And I was worried about moving to the midwest...

2010-05-23T09:08:00.000-07:00

Before I bought a bike, I did some searching around to see if there was even mountain biking to be done in South-Central Wisconsin, or if I would be smarter to go for a road bike. I found a few trails about a half-hour away and decided that was close enough for some fun enough to justify some weekend rides.

Then this article shows up in the Janesville Gazette!

How awesome! The Park is delightfully close to campus, too!

View Larger Map

In addition to that, there's this, and this. I think I'll be in good shape!

Just like in Scouts....

2010-05-22T21:05:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Jill W. and Jessica B.'s explanation of how the Provo River Trail ACTUALLY works, I decided to go for a longer ride today, you know...see how long I lasted.

Turns out that I lasted for about 23 miles, all the way up to Vivian park (not quite a 25 miler-but close)! It was an awesome feeling, and an awesome ride. Since my front derailleur wasn't quite working right, I could never shift into my topmost gear (it would shoot the chain PAST the top gear if I tried). It turned out to be a blessing in disguise, though, because it forced me to keep my pedaling up and get myself in better shape.

Our forecast sad that we would get less than a quarter inch of rain today, so I was feeling confident, even in the face of these ominous clouds!

(Since blogger loaded my pictures backwards, you're gonna' get it from the top down)

I, however, didn't catch any rain until the very last mile or so, and then it was really a downpour. Of course, the downpour only lasted for a couple minutes, so the total rain probably wasn't more than 1/4 of an inch.

I took a nice little pause at Bridal Veil falls, and even took some time to look the OTHER way, to get this beautiful picture (above).

I know there are a MILLION pictures of this exact scene.

But this one was taken by ME, when I RODE my bike up there from MY HOUSE!

All up the trail, there were these BEAUTIFUL finches that flew along the path. I got lucky enough to whip out my camera and take one. In other news, I tried to edit this one a bit to get the bird to look a little bit more brilliant

What a fun afternoon! Thanks Jill W. and Jessica B. for teaching my how far the trail really goes!

I'm also experimenting with making my own Gatorade. I found a great website that teaches you several different possibilities of making it (most of which include using "lite Morton's salt" which has sodium AND potassium in it. Now I'm just trying to find a way to sweeten it without using straight sugar or artificial sweeteners....

Hmmmmmm

2010-05-22T12:53:00.001-07:00

So....we're watching some movie (can't remember what, Whitney could tell me, but she's asleep) where they are investigating the history of some guy.

They seemed quite impressed with his limit on his credit card, and say something like "he sure must pay his bills on time."

The credit limit??

$750

Wow...how far we've come, which direction? I don't know.

Couple More Rides

2010-05-21T09:23:00.001-07:00

I'm totally getting into the Mountain biking thing! (Still no pictures, working on getting that all sorted out still)

I've gone a couple times down the Provo River Trail. Once all the way down to the Utah Lake, and another time HOPING to head up towards the canyon, but the trail stops at the Motion Picture Studios. (lame)

Then yesterday I had some extra time in the morning, so I decided to try something a little more ambitious. My barber (apparently EVERYONE is a mountain biker) suggested I try a part of the Bonneville shoreline trail that starts in north Orem (by the cemetery) and heads up towards Pleasant Grove. I didn't do so bad, but the 4.5 miles took me a LOT longer than I expected! The thing that was great is that there were a lot more ups and downs (instead of one constant climb like the last offroad trail I tried) so I would get a good work out, then breath a little while I went downhill.

The interesting thing about the trail (which I found at utahmountainbiking.com) is that it climbs 650 feet over the first three and half miles or so, and then goes back down nearly all 650 in the last mile. The whole time I'm going down (scared to death and riding my brakes half the time....) I'm thinking "I'm gonna' have to ride back up this!" Fortunately, the map provides an option for a city street return.

I must have missed my turn, because I ended up being WAY down in the middle of Pleasant Grove and having to wander my way back up towards the cemetery in Orem. I rode by Jill W.'s house, but decided against riding all the way up that hill to say hi, plus I had a lesson to teach soon and had to get home.

All in all, it was a fun ride! I think I'll try it again! AFTER looking at a map.

Okay....realllly.....

2010-05-17T20:53:00.000-07:00

So, I discovered today that I didn't ACTUALLY make it up to the top of the trail. I was about a mile short....dangit.

Today I went with a buddy to the same trail and he gave me some good tips about successfully maintaining your energy while biking. He learned on a roadbike (did a Seattle to Portland trip a few years ago) but a lot of the stuff still applies.

This time I had my GPS with the coordinates for the top of the loop. When we stopped where I had before, we discovered that we were still about a mile off. But today I finished it! It had some pretty tough stuff, and I figured out where the picture that I posted a few times ago was (it was a pretty tough hill, I had a hard time keeping my front tire on the ground....) its a lot of fun though, we had a great time!

Of course, the ride was finished with a trip to Sonic - effectively canceling out all of the calories we burned on the ride....

I did it!!

2010-05-16T20:47:00.000-07:00

So...I know its Sunday, and that we should've been sitting on our couch reading our scriptures (or something like that) Whitney and I decided to take a trip up the mountains, to take a walk and for her to take pictures.

I suggest the place where I started my bike ride, remembering that it had some beautiful pictures if only I had my camera. Of course, since we decide to go up there, I can't pass up the chance to tackle the ride one more time, so I load my bike into the car and we go for it.

Armed with some new information (the bike salesman told me to lock my front suspension when I was going uphill...genius!!) and with a little more humility. I took the ride easy at the beginning trying to conserve my energy as long as I could. Low and behold, I finished the ride!!!

I wasn't so sure I did at first, but I came home and read over the trail description several times and decided that I really did finish it! It was pretty awesome! Still no pictures, but I'm taking a friend up on it tomorrow (yeah...three days in a row, I'm crazy...) so maybe I'll get some pictures then!

Mountain Biking!

2010-05-15T21:13:00.000-07:00

Many of you know I've been on a trek in the past 12 months to find some hobbies that I really enjoy, there's a woodworking post from several months ago, and the nook post from just a few weeks ago (Really, I put these in because I think its funny to reference myself). I love them all, but i felt like I needed something more active. So, I've recently had a renewed interest in mountain biking. As Whitney can tell you, I have wanted a bike since we got married. Now that we've been good, diligent savers we decided its probably something we could afford by now. Of course, those of you who know me realize I spend money to try something new (watercolor is the most recent "experiment") and then I end up not really sticking with it.

For that reason whitney suggested that I rent one first to see how I like it. This morning I went down to BYU outdoors unlimited to rent a bike and try a ride. I spent all week researching trails in Utah trying to find one that I thought I could do (remember, I have been remotely physically active, but definitely not in tip top shape). I finally found one that looked great, they said it was for "intermediate" (surely I was an intermediate) and it looked beautiful, so I thought I could handle it.

How wrong I was.

This is one photograph on the page for the ride I decided to take:

1.) Note the physique of the guy in the picture. Much, MUCH better than mine. This is a guy who calls the ride "intermediate" and refers to the 750 feet rise over 1.75 miles as a "mild uphill." He didn't know much about me.

2.) Note the place from where the picture is taken. Realize the guy in the picture is going to arrive at the place where the picture is being taken - "mild uphill??" ha!

So...I had a great time. Really I did. I was exhausted, and I stopped several times, and I'm not sure I even made it to the top of the loop I was riding. But I saw some beautiful sights, and downhill was a blast!

So, after about 45 minutes of riding, I would feel quite sheepish taking back my four-hour rental....so I decided to ride it around the road that led to the trailhead. It wasn't so bad, I could handle endurance...just not the big pushes required for uphill. After a little bit of that, I took the bike home.

By the time I got into Provo, I still had an hour and a half left on the rental. So I drove to my house and told Whitney about my plight. She suggested I take a ride around town and see how I do. I took a ride down the Provo River Trail and LOVED IT! Downhill and uphill! Needless to say, I decided that I could easily do this, I just need to do some regular conditioning.

Whitney and I talked about the idea of renting the bike for a week, but when we realized how much it would cost, it made more sense to start shopping for an actual bike to own, provided that I will actually use it. (I have a feeling she'll guilt me if I don't make pretty regular use.) We did some shopping around (I had already been doing it for months) and finally settled on the same bike I had rented that morning. One that my father-in-law Craig said he absolutely loved.

So, I'm now I biker! This is gonna' be fun!

Nookster

2010-04-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, okay, so mine didn't come with the pink cover OR the daffodils.... But Whitney and I are the proud owners of nooks! Finally something that combines my love of technology and my love of books in one great little unit! Now I can still use technology WHILE using a book, get a download of The New Yorker or my favorite newspaper downloaded every morning, or just read great books!

The great advantage to this little nook as that you automatically have access to everything in google books' library for free!! I am falling in love with the classics again, and increasingly fascinated with writers like Dickens (currently reading A Tale of Two Cities; the book I was SUPPOSED to read in High School for Mr. Palagi's senior literature course....finally getting around to it) and their ability to vividly describe situations, landscapes, characters, moods with an incredible vocabulary that buries me deeper into the pages (or digital images...).

So...question for the day....which classics should I read? What are your favorites? Remember, we're shooting for the free ones, since we're saving up every last penny for the trip to Wisconsin!

Finish Line?

2010-03-25T12:22:00.001-07:00

I won't necessarily say I feel like this guy....but today I wrote the last words on the bulk of my dissertation! I finished the major research chapters (all 6 of them) and all I have to WRITE is an introduction and a conclusion. Of course, I have to revise it all, because I'm sure there are some glaring mistakes somewhere in those 97 pages.

That being said, it certainly feels like a large weight off of my shoulders! Somehow, I was able to research something in enough detail that it was deserving of that much writing! There is such a joy in creating something that substantial! I think its a combination of the reward of hard work and the fun of creating something completely new.

Of course, I am a pretty big jerk if I realize I didn't do this alone. I had a great wife who was willing to work hard so we had food on the table and I could spend half a day every day working on this thing. I have wonderful friends and family who keep asking me how I'm doing - one in particular who has been in the same place as me for several years and did all the hard learning for me. Advisors who encouraged me to keep working even though I really wanted a break... What a crazy ride it has been!

I never thought it would go by that fast!

Back on the Wagon

2010-03-23T09:58:00.000-07:00

Well, with the strong encouragement of a wife, and the excitement of a new job finally settling down, I am back into my "dissertation chair" (fortunately its a comfy one, since I've spent a lot of time here) and am charging full speed ahead to the conclusion of a dissertation! I think my new goal is to always start the next section before I take a break (even if its just one sentence). I think of it as the writer's equivalent to the"cliffhanger." You know, that moment in a book (usually a good suspense one) where the last sentence of the chapter says something like "But he never would've expected what greeted him as he opened the door into the dark, abandoned missile silo." Or the moment right before the commercial on House when all of the monitors start beeping at the same time (it happens before EVERY commercial, that must be the most exciting hospital in the country!). It just keeps you going until all of the sudden its three in the morning and you haven't even made dinner!

On a different note, I keep thinking about the "cliffhanger" that has been surrounding my life for the past several months - or years - and how grateful I am that I finally got to turn the page into the next chapter. Recognizing that I chose a field of study that is very specific, I have constantly been worried that I would really be able to do something with my education, and that all of the years of stress and worry would be worth it. I have created an innumerable number of "fall-back" plans, and every rejection letter came as another nail in the coffin that was my dream of becoming a conductor. I remember one night several weeks ago being particularly worried about if I would actually have a full-time job next semester, and the Spirit so quietly telling me that "it'll be okay, something great is going to happen in the next few weeks and you'll be amazed at how well you've been blessed."

The more I look into this job, I don't think we could've been more blessed. First off, I HAVE A JOB! I AM A CONDUCTOR! I AM PROFESSOR (soon to be Dr.) MORTENSEN! I never have to worry about whether or not all that education was worth it, because it is! Second, the community is a perfect place to start a family. Since GM closed its factory (sorry to all the workers) the housing market is really depressed (more so, I suppose than the rest of the country???) which makes it a great opportunity for a young couple to get their start! Lastly, without going into details the whole package of the job is incredible, I feel so blessed!

Most importantly, I feel like the faculty that I get to work with are some of the most amazing people that I have met. They are very dedicated to their job, and are determined to making each student successful. As the Dean of the campus (read President) gave me a tour of the campus, she would stop and chat with students, calling them by name, and asking how a specific class or application to one of the UW Universities was coming along. How many students did the President of your college know by name? This is the kind of place I want to work!

I just needed to share that...I have no idea how to apply this to you, maybe just the idea of having faith, knowing what the future will hold, etc, is the best way to go about life, because the future always holds what you need it to hold.... (I tried)

Now on to the laundry....

Reserve the UHaul!

2010-03-19T22:42:00.000-07:00

So, the real reason why I couldn't get anything done today (and couldn't tell you about it because it would have jinxed it...) was because I got an email from University of Wisconsin-Rock County saying that they would be following up on my references. I then heard minutes later that they had contacted my advisor at the University of Illinois.

So, with the absolute inability to focus on ANYTHING but when or if I a job offer was coming today. I happily resolved the situation by heading up to BYU and listening to the choirs. (Admittedly, I couldn't even really enjoy rehearsal, but at least I was DOING something).

Around 3pm I chat with Whitney and find out that she is done with work, so I figure I'll go get her and we'll do something to entertain ourselves until the concert last night. When I go down to meet her, one of her coworkers - in response to the email I had received - asked me when I was expecting to hear back.

My phone starts buzzing.

I pull out the phone, and its a Wisconsin area code, and I say "I can't answer it."

After I see that a voicemail is left, I go listen to it.

"Bryson, this is XXX from UW-Rock County. I'm calling to offer you a job! Give me a call back!"

I won't say my response was giddy. I was definitely happy, sooooo glad to have this phase of my life over, but a little bit in a daze about the fact that I had been offered a job and now I was officially a professor. Now that I have had some time to let it settle in and make plans for the next step of my life, I am getting really excited!!

Above is a picture of the Japanese portion of the Rotary Gardens in Janesville. So cool!

I Don't Wanna' Work...

2010-03-19T08:44:00.000-07:00

The Carnival Cruise lines song is singing to me (although everytime I hear the melody, I think of The Office...)

The reason it keeps singing to me? I am technically on Spring Break (Thank you, UVU for having one) just got finished with an intense interview process (perhaps I overprepared for the first one?) and am sitting back in my "dissertation" chair trying to get back on track with my dissertation. I have two more chapters - 30 more pages - to write, and it feels like the last 100 feet of a marathon. But I've got to get this thing finished so that I can work on other things. From what I can tell, University of Wisconsin is going to be a summer FULL of prep so that I can keep on track and do what I can do best. (This, of course, is IF I get the job, there will be a much more interesting post when/if I do get a job offer, don't you worry).

Lesson Learned: Momentum is ALWAYS your best friend.

Second Lesson Learned: There are ALWAYS more fun things to do than try to get back to writing your dissertation. For example:

Playing with your new nook (can we say ALL the classics for free? yes we can!)

Looking at things to do in the Rock County, Wisconsin area

Finally doing a recipe from that French Cookbook your wife bought when you were first married.

Looking at housing options in Janesville, WI

Playing games on your computer

Reading into every detail in every email that you get from someone at UW-Rock County.

Sharing those details with friends and seeing what they think.

Watching "Saved by the Bell" (it brings back such good memories)

Posting on your blog!

I need motivation!

Gratitude

2010-02-11T10:23:00.001-08:00

To the three loyal readers of my blog (maybe more now that Google Buzz has come into play to increase my "popularity") you may have remembered when i wrote about my new commitment to write each day about the things I am grateful for in that day. I also told you I would let you know how it went.

As is true with most things in life, it took a little bit of effort to get it going. I would keep at it for a few days, then just be too tired and forget about it for several days, then pick it up again. Well, finally yesterday I gained a great testimony of how valuable it can be as a method to process through my day and see difficult things in a new light.

Yesterday was not the best day. I didn't get up to exercise and as a result didn't feel very successful with any of the things that I had planned to do in the morning (you know, read about my dissertation, read more about my dissertation, listen to music for my dissertation, read about my dissertation...) and wasn't in a very good mood. As I get to voice lessons, one of my students seems particularly worried about the things I am teaching and I get the sense that this student doesn't trust me as a teacher. I keep thinking to myself "You're the one who is paying me! Why don't you listen to what I have to say?" Later I go to my class and notice halfway through class that one of my students seems to be particularly upset about the grading that I just handed back and my heart absolutely broke. While I was somewhat challenging in my response to this student, my intent was to help the student see how to improve and where to focus effort. I felt horrible that my intention to motivate had actual led to the exact opposite. It distracted me for several minutes while I tried to keep the class moving. Needless to say I was very tired and frustrated (mostly with myself) by the time I got home. Why wasn't I able to say the right things to get this student to trust me? Why had my attempts to motivate led to discouragement instead?

When it came time to write my journal yesterday evening, I thought that I would focus on a wonderful wife. When I came home she listened ever so patiently as I unloaded about my day, tried to help me see things from a different perspective, and made a FANTASTIC dinner that really made the whole day of frustration worth it since I got to come home to a loving, supportive, smart wife.

Then the Spirit started to talk to me: "Did you notice how you didn't blow up at your voice student, that you were given the right things to say to get that student to listen to you, and that by the end of the lesson the student had made some real progress?" No, I had forgotten all about that. I bet the student will be a lot more willing to go with things next week now that there is evidence of some progress. "Did you notice how it worked out that you ran into the student in your conducting class afterwards so that you could find out that the student was having a bad day because of other things? Didn't you think that I let you notice that student so that you could go talk later and show the student some much-needed concern?" Wow, I never thought about the role I would play as teacher who is building people and not just students.

I remember driving home from work one particularly cloudy afternoon. As I looked up over the mountains I noticed this one patch of brilliant blue in the midst of all of the clouds. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. It was so bright and clear (much better than the usual hazy blue that one gets looking through clouds) that it changed my whole perspective on the rest of the cloudy sky. Instead of being an "overcast day" I thought about this one spot of brilliantly blue sky.

Its amazing how finding (hunting, scraping up) one ray of light in what seemed like a very cloudy day gives you just enough light to see the silver-lining.

What are you grateful for today?

Knowledge is....

2010-02-07T20:51:00.000-08:00

I am a new fan of the Franklin Planner. Whitney and I got them near the beginning of our marriage, as we realized that our responsibilities were not only to ourselves and required that we would need to be aware of each others' needs and the needs of our household.

Part of this my planner is a little bookmark that keeps track of the day I'm on, but also has me set goals for myself with the different "hats" that I wear in my life. At the beginning of our marriage that was quite easy since I only had two hats: "be a good husband" and "pass my preliminary exams." Now, however, the number of hats I have to wear has dramatically multiplied: husband, teacher, conductor, dissertation writer, reviewer, conference proposal researcher, job applier, and the list seems to keep growing! Interestingly enough, in true "Covey" style, the bookmark suggests that you set four personal goals to maintain your sanity: a physical goal, a spiritual goal, a social goal, and an intellectual goal.

I struggle the most with the intellectual goal. For me it seems that so much of what I do already is intellectual. Pouring through books and articles to be able to see how they fit (or don't) into my concept of my dissertation, or my conference proposal, or my article for the Choral Journal. It seems like a lot of work to suggest that I should on some other level be increasing my intellectual skill.

On a different note, I recently attended a presentation by a hopeful candidate for the School of the Arts at the University where I am currently employed. His presentation was supposed to center around his vision for the School of the Arts. He definitely demonstrated his academic knowledge as he presented us with an 18-page paper that summarized the history of the words "arts," "university," and "vision." While it was an impressive analysis, it didn't seem to fit with a School that is geared for performance and preparing future secondary educators and showed that his knowledge was (in my opinion) ill-suited for our needs. It seems in this case that knowledge is not power.

As I have been diving deep into the job market and doing my best to find some full-time employment that will support a future family, I have been living by that very phrase: knowledge is power. The more that I can know about a university, the search committee, and the job-search process in the choral academia, the better prepared I will be to say the right things at the right time to the right people and I will find the job that is best for us. On the other side, the more that the search committee can know about me - my skills and my interests - the more likely that they will see how well suited I am for the position.

I am beginning to doubt how much knowledge really is power. After spending an evening of reading through articles that are designed to give tips on how to manage the hiring process, I think that my increased knowledge has led to more doubt: doubt in the effectiveness of my letters of recommendation, doubt in my ability to fund on-campus interviews (one article discussed how less and less campuses are willing to fund interviews), doubt in the effectiveness of my cover letters or in my tactics for helping myself stand out from the deluge of job applicants. The doubt discourages me about the fact that I will ever find a job that is right. It seems to me that - in this case - knowledge is not power, but fear.

Then I turn to the knowledge that I have received from my Heavenly Father as I have turned to Him in this whole process. The information He gives me is so little so rarely. To summarize it, he says "you will get the job that is right for you." I can derive from that two assumptions: I WILL get a job, and I don't necessarily need to change from the course I am headed (that is, shipping off several applications a month) to be able to get to the job that I will get in the future. When I trust that message, I can act with courage instead of doubt in knowing that the path I am treading will lead me to a place where my family and I will be successful and my family will be happy.

For once in my life, I think that my academic success has much more to do with FAITH than with KNOWLEDGE!

How do you depend on faith when you have no knowledge to back it up?

The Organist?!?

2010-01-30T22:15:00.000-08:00

So, tomorrow morning, I make my debut as an organist in our ward and I'm extremely nervous. You may think that's odd, that the guy who almost has his DMA in choral music is nervous about playing the organ.

Well I am. And here's why.

I am not really a keyboard player. Any one of my voice students can attest that the only way that we even SURVIVE lessons is by my drastic reduction of the accompaniment (which usually involves me using both hands to pull of playing the left hand part). When I auditioned/interviewed for the Master's program at BYU, they had me play a Bach chorale. The first one was in D-major, I failed it miserably! Then they gave me one in C-major, still failed it miserably!

So, I've worked LOTS to pull off playing the piano, at least to get the hymns to the level that I can play them. I pull that off mostly with LOTS of sustain pedal, and simplifying when necessary.

The Organ has no sustain pedal! Worse than that, it has LOTS of pedals that all make different sounds! I did play the organ for awhile at a Presbyterian Church in Salt Lake City, but that was way easy! I just had to play the melody in one hand and chords in the other, didn't even have to use the pedals!

So, tomorrow we'll see how it goes. I'm using pedals for the prelude, and the bass coupler for the Hymns. It should be fun, and hopefully it turns out okay!

7 Pages Down

2010-01-27T12:39:00.000-08:00

Got done with seven pages of chapter two.

For those of you who are interested, the former chapter two (regarding Imperialist Propaganda at the turn of the century) became chapter one. So now I am writing chapter two AGAIN (this time about Elgar's attitude toward's Imperialism). Hurrah for getting words on paper!

I read a very interesting chapter in a new book last night that attemps to refute all of the "feel good" self help books out there that base their advice on undocumented subjects. It even talks about one study that is regularly cited in self help books to encourage one to make goals. Interesting this is that the study never happened!

So citing some research, this book suggests that one of the best ways to move from a negative state to a positive state is through journaling. Processing the negative issues when necessary, but more importantly writing the things which you are most grateful for! Even better, it suggests that you not spend more than a minute a day writing in your journal (does this sound familiar?) So I'm trying it, again. I felt great last night with the huge wash of things that came to me. Hopefully I can keep it going!

What a Weekend!

2010-01-17T17:23:00.000-08:00

What a rewarding weekend! Good friends, GREAT music, great learning experiences. Lots to go home feeling great about!

Hopefully videos will follow soon! I have to somehow get from VHS to DVD to Computer to Blogger. We'll see how it goes!

VACATION!!

2010-01-13T10:57:00.001-08:00

Well, it probably won't be that much of a vacation, since I am conducting in the masterclass, but I do get to fly to Houston, where the weather is supposed to be rainy all weekend, but that's a step up from snow! AND, I get to get out of Provo

I am really looking forward to this masterclass, I haven't been critiqued in my conducting for a very long time, and I can't wait to work with great people like these folks:

Marguerite L. Brooks: Professor of Choral Conducting at Yale University

Robert Sund, conductor of the Swedish choir Orphei Drängar

AND

The Houston Chamber Choir

I'm looking forward to it! Hopefully I have some great pictures to share with you!

P.S. I finished the second (or first) chapter this morning! There's plenty of room to improve, but at least its on paper! 21 pages!

Writing...writing...writing

2010-01-12T21:33:00.001-08:00

So today I wrote the first ten pages of my dissertation.

They need serious help.

But they are written! I have a goal of getting the first draft of my dissertation written by May 1st so that I can hopefully graduate by August. It is a relatively ambitious goal, but I am feeling like I can make it happen!

So, my intermediary goal was to have the first two chapters written by the end of January. They should be the easier chapters since they are both different aspects of literature review (one on the British sentiment towards imperialism, and one on the writing about Elgar and Imperialism).

The goal within that goal (yeah, my life is a whole world of interlocking goals) is that I write the first chapter (well, actually it'll be the second chapter, but it's the first one I've written) by the end of this week! On top of it all, I leave on Thursday morning for the Chorus America Masterclass in Houston, so I have to have the first chapter written by tomorrow!

I started writing today (I spent a whole week reading up on the last bit of the books I needed). I started off great! the first couple of pages turned out great, but as the day went on it just got worse and worse and it became more difficult to have something worthwhile to say.

BUT! The accomplishment is, I have 14 pages written! That's more than 1/10th of my paper! I'm all about that!

I'll finish up the first (er...second) chapter tomorrow, and hopefully it comes out better!

Facebook....

2010-01-06T07:55:00.001-08:00

I gave it up.

Perhaps crazy, perhaps not, but I think I got tired of being perpetually connected to a bunch of people who I don't really know. Anyway, this is perhaps my new place to post my stories. So follow me HERE, not on facebook!

Woodworking!?!

2010-01-03T18:16:00.000-08:00

So...as many of you may have noticed, I have been in desperate need of a hobby. However much I love school, teaching voice lessons, and reading a lot of books every day in preparation for writing every day. (BTW, May 1st is my goal to have a first draft of my dissertation done! Crazy, you say? I agree!). I decided that I would probably really like woodworking, my grandpa on my mom's side made all sorts of awesome gadgets and gifts for us, and I would love to follow the tradition. So my big requests for this Christmas included tools. I got an awesome set of basic tools from my brother, and my father-in-law gave me some absolutely awesome tools. That, together with a great gift card to Home Depot from Santa, prompted me to use the rest of my break to start my (hopefully) long career as a woodworker!

We needed a shoe bench, particularly with the crazy snow and the salt that got tracked regularly into our living room. I decided that would be a good place to start. Its basically a one shelf bookshelf, right? It turned out pretty awesome, if I do say so myself. You can't quite sit on it, but it holds shoes fantastically!

The unfinished shoe bench

Another angle: I added a little lip halfway through construction!

(actually the result of my not being able to cut straight on the other shelf pieces)

After I had built this one, we decided that we needed another end-table/bookshelf typed thing to go between our new chair (purchased on New Year's Eve) and the couch. So I used the same

plans, made it about half as long and a 1/2 foot shorter.

The great story behind all of this was the things that I learned about staining. I only remember staining one other time in my life (I think it was a door with Dusty) and I'm thinking I wasn't very successful at it. So I was excited to try again with my new 28-year-old sensibilities. Turns out they're not all that sensible:

Lesson 1: No matter how cold it is outside - even if you don't have a garage, or a back porch, or a basement - DO NOT stain in your kitchen. Even with all the windows open, you and your wife will end up with really bad headaches and not be in very good moods. Your wife may even retreat to the bedroom, shut the door, and fall asleep for several hours. (You'll be glad to know I came up with a way to make our laundry room - a small hut at the back end of our complex - into a "garage" without causing too many problems for the launderers in our complex.)

Lesson 2: When the can says to wait until the first coat has completely dried before adding another coat, they mean it. I got a bit impatient with the shoe bench and did the second coat while it was still a bit sticky. We ended up with some REALLY uneven spots (see pictures below) and an overly dark color, but it still looks very nice!

This is a close up of the horribly uneven part of the stain. Looks pretty bad! Fortunately a pair of shoes is always on top of it!

The smaller one. This is how it should actually look when one waits the entire time before doing the second coat of stain!

I'm going slow, and doing things that actually make sense for us (seeing as we don't actually own a home yet), but I think I'm going for a kitchen table next! I've got some ideas for how to do it, and it doesn't seem TOO horrible! Here's hoping!

Sick Day

2009-11-28T21:00:00.000-08:00

Man, I hate these days. It started hitting me yesterday evening (AFTER we had selected our first Christmas tree) and it took control of my life all day. We're thinking I caught it from Whitney, since she's had a cold since almost the beginning of the week.

I find that sickness (besides a great time to catch up on all the fun television shows) somehow makes me look at my life in a little better (albeit somewhat delirious) perspective. This particular sickness got me to realize how lucky I am, I have a wonderful wife. (Who, by the way, even though she felt under the weather, still took care of me, made me meals, even gave me a back rub!! What a woman!) I have family that cares for me, a great job, a great plan for my future career, a wonderful ward, great friends.

I've spent so much of my life trying for something more, something better, even with myself. On one level, I don't think there is anything wrong with that, but I think in some ways it has really dominated my life to the point that I am unhappy with wherever I am. Now I want to see what is wonderful and then patiently working on making it more wonderful!

Here's the tree! First fresh one I've had in awhile!

New Conducting Post

2009-11-19T09:09:00.001-08:00

Be sure to check out my most recent conducting escapades!

mortensenconductor.blogspot.com

The Last Days in Illinois

2009-09-20T10:51:00.000-07:00

I know, its been nearly two months since I left Illinois, but its kinda' been busy, and I just learned how to get pictures from Whitney's camera (which I borrowed after mine got drowned in the Caribbean) onto the computer.

Over the summer I decided it would be nice to see some of the cool Illinois birds, so I bought a bird feeder for us to put on the tree in our backyard. I also learned about a little sock-like bird feeder that would attract finches. We had a cardinal that came regularly to eat (Jenika named him Charlie) that I tried for days to photograph. Finally I took a book and the camera out to the porch and read until he started eating so I could get a picture without moving much. Here are my best shots of the finch and Charlie!

At the end of the summer, my good friend Becca Anderson wrote me saying she needed another priesthood holder for the Young Women's fourth year something or another. (I still don't completely understand why these girls got to go, but it was a small number of women, and it was a few weeks before Girl's Camp). First off, you Young Women have much more spiritual campouts than I ever had in Young Men's! You read your scriptures! Together! Daily! And then you talk about it meaningfully! I was baffled and inspired, what a wonderful weekend!

My most proud moment was in the morning when we heard the thunder of a rainstorm coming, and my best strategy for keeping the fire going was to build it as high as I could and shelter the ashes with big logs. Miraculously, after the 15 minute rainstorm (with thunder overhead that sent the girls running for the cars) the fire was still going and we had a wonderful breakfast!

Here are a few of the pictures I took. Although I missed the real rough experience of mountainous hiking, this was a wonderful weekend!

I know its sideways...give me a break...

Some Concert Recordings: Allerton Vocal Chamber Music Festival

2009-06-23T11:36:00.000-07:00

So...I finally got around to learning how to upload video onto YouTube, which means that then I can post them here! I am so excited to see what you think of these.

What we have here is Woodstock High School. I got to conduct them at the Allerton Vocal Chamber Music Festival in February of this year. (I know it took me awhile....) We spent a weekend together (Friday night and Saturday morning) and worked on two songs for several rehearsals. This is a recording of their performance Saturday afternoon. Enjoy!

Johannes Brahms: "Nachtwache no. 1"

Sergei Rachmoninoff: "Bogoroditsye Djevo"

Also!! I have started a new blog to post all of the videos of me conducting/rehearsing! Please check it out! mortensenconductor.blogspot.com

Americana!

2009-04-30T11:18:00.001-07:00

Well, last Friday night was the University Chorus Concert out here at the University of Illinois, which went really well! We had a great time and made some wonderful music before, including four pieces (arrangements) that had never been heard before (Three by Danny McDavitt and one by me). It was a really rewarding experience!

The program got the title "Americana" because it was all somehow tied to the Americas. Beginning with a piece that was close to home (written by a composer from Chicago) then moving out to Latin America for a few fragments from the Mass. Then over to England, when Elgar did two settings of pieces by Tennyson, then back to the United States for some standard compositions and some folk music. All in all, a pretty good program, I think!

The picture on the poster above was taken by Whitney, and as many of you can imagine, is not even remotely a picture of Illinois! But it sure looked Americana, right? Whitney also came out for the concert (or my birthday....still not sure which...) and she took some wonderful pictures of our last rehearsal on stage before the concert began! Thanks hun!

P.S. If I get super ambitious, I may even attempt to put some audio clips on here....we'll see.

A fantastic pianist, Colin Leslie

Looking "out" for the slower of the folk songs (thanks to a little micro-geography)

This might be my favorite part of the concert! There was quite a bit of percussion in several of the pieces, and the best box I could find to carry it all around was this one! It held together quite well!

New Pictures

2009-01-20T12:46:00.000-08:00

So, I'm certain that all of you would love to see some pictures of the happy couple! I promise I'll get less cheesy in a little bit...really.... These are pictures that our good friend Ben Boster took over the Christmas break, because we decided we deserved some of those winter pictures....we need to clarify that these do not count as our engagement pictures, those will be taken later, when its prettier...but they do still look good!

This picture will probably be a christmas card, don't you think??

Whitney is totally making fun of these kinds of engagement pictures, but I think it looks pretty cool!

I have no idea what happened here, I probably made some joke that she's mad at....

I just think this one is cool, with the branch there, very artistic....

Just really cool, that's all I have to say!!

Well, that's all you get for now! These are my personal favorites of the ones Ben took, enjoy!

Do you Want an Invitation?

2009-01-03T09:35:00.001-08:00

So...I'm sure most of you have probably already done this, but I just want to make sure I cover my bases so that anyone who wants an invitation can get one. Head to this website and click on the RSVP link (left hand side) and select the "I want an invitation" event and whatever reception you plan on coming to! Thanks!

http://cs02.ewedding.com/v30/?a=whitneyandbryson/

Happy New Year! I'll do a better post later!

How It All Went Down

2008-12-17T06:48:00.000-08:00

So lest some of you worry that all of my class has gone out the window and I actually asked Whitney to marry me online, and for those of you who want the whole story because you love that kind of thing, here we go:

The Story of the Ring

Over the summer, Whitney and I started looking at engagement rings, mostly online (I know..we're a part of THAT generation...) but we found a setting that her and I both really liked, both because it was beautiful and it had some great symbolism. Of course, i didn't tell her at the time that I ordered when my next paycheck came in..

Whitney also told me over the summer that if I wanted to use it, she had been offered her Grandmother's center diamond to use in her engagement ring. Naturally I jumped on the opportunity since I love things that are meaningful like that. She said that she would contact her mom and see if she could get the diamond out of the ring so that I could take it with me when we out to Oregon in August.

But..of course...her knowing that I had the diamond wouldn't be any fun at all...

So I got a hold of her parents and asked them to pretend like they weren't ready to give the diamond up. Then when we came out in August I brought the setting with me (without Whitney knowing of course) and gave it to Whitney's parents. While we were out there, Whitney brings out her grandma's ring to show me the diamond again. I decide this is a great opportunity to cement the deception, so I say "wasn't your mom supposed to get that out for me this week?" I'm so horrible.

They brought the setting and her grandmas ring to the jeweler who originally made the ring and had the diamond set into Whitney's setting and then gave the ring back to me when I came out for Thanksgiving. Her parents also used the other diamonds in the ring to make a band for her mom and a new band for her dad - which they wore over Thanksgiving. I was afraid that Whitney would catch on, but her parents had carefully planned their story to make sure that she didn't.

The Thanksgiving Mess

Well, the next mess that required another lie occurred when Whitney got home from Thanksgiving and several people checked her hand or asked if she was engaged. (Thanks guys) so I had to come up with something to throw her off the trail (just in case she had gotten on).

So in conversation I asked "So do you think you could get your grandma's diamond when you go home over Christmas break?" Again...I'm horrible, but it needed to happen.

The Story of the Blog:

I decided that there had to be some "long-distance" element in the proposal since nearly our entire dating life had been long distance, but I refused to propose online, thus the "12 Days of Whitney" was born.

The posts were scheduled to go up every morning at 9 o'clock mountain time, so they would come up when Whitney was at work and could see them. Except the last one, which I programmed to go up while Whitney was picking me up from the airport in Salt Lake.

The whole day while I was getting ready to drive to Indianapolis, I was threading this long yarn that began with me saying "You haven't said anything about today's post yet!" and ended with "I'll have to fix that when we get to home tonight!"

The Night

I told Whitney on Sunday night that I wanted Monday night to be ours alone, since there were a lot of people who had already asked to spend time with us. I, with the help of my sister and several very helpful stewardesses on my flights, successfully kept a bouquet of flowers alive on my flights from Indianapolis and gave them to her when she picked me up. I also had bought a fun "wintery" fondue set (a snowman where the chocolate sits in his hat...pictures to come later) that I checked in my luggage that I thought would be a nice precursor to the whole "question." My mom had even bought fresh fruit for us to use and left it set out on a beautiful table at her house.

My bags got lost.

I suspected the bags might get lost because my first flight was significantly delayed, so I had time to realize that this was another great opportunity to throw her off the trail. Since I was worried that Whitney might suspect (come on...when have I EVER wanted to stay up past midnight, especially after a long day of flying) I just told her "My plans for tonight are in my bags that got lost! So lets just hang out for a bit and go to bed, ok?" (As I learned later, this little distraction was completely unnecessary...)

We went to her house, she showed me her christmas tree, we put the flowers in water (which are still living I might add!) and then she said "Should we see if we can fix your blog?" Music to my ears!

We walk in to her bedroom where she opens up her computer and types in the address to the blog. I'm sitting on the edge of her bed, ring in my pocket, just waiting.

It pops up.

She jumps up and says "its up!" i figured she caught on...i start to get down on one knee.

She looks really confused.

"You didn't read the blog, hun, did you?"

She whips back around and sees the picture of the ring, then whips back around to me.

I ask her to marry me, she says yes, then we hug, I'm still on one knee.

"Whitney...I have a ring for you."

"Oh...that's great!"

"Its in my right hand right now..."

She ends the hug - rather abruptly I might add - and finds the ring in my right hand.

The Aftermath

So then we went back out to the living room and I had to unload the web of lies that I have been feeding her since August, and then tell her congratulations from all of her friends in Illinois. She apparantly had absolutely no idea, and was completely blown away by the whole prospect.

So for anyone who might be asking, we're looking at a mid to late August wedding in Portland, as soon as we figure out the schedules of immediate family.

I feel like the luckiest guy in the world!

1st Day of Christmas......

2008-12-15T22:00:00.000-08:00

SHE SAID YES!!

Well...she hasn't yet...but I'm sure she will...when she sees this...

2nd Day of Christmas....Charity part 2

2008-12-14T08:00:00.000-08:00

In addition to Whitney’s love for her family, she has a real talent for loving everyone around her. So often, I am the person who is really good (if you can call it a talent) at picking people apart. Whitney is very willing to look for the best in people. She makes friends with everyone she meets and loves them sincerely.

I think that is the thing that is most impressive to me, she is dedicated to her friends. She wants to be there for them, and she does everything she can to help them. When Whitney is friends with someone, you know that you will have someone who will drop whatever she is doing to help you.

For example: This past summer we were in Oregon for a friends wedding. The day before the wedding she and I had planned to head to the coast and spend some time there. (Neither of us get out to the coast very often, and so we were quite excited to be able to go.) Well we found out that our friends needed some help getting things ready for the reception the next day. Of course, we were both a little sad that we didn’t get to go to the coast, but we were happy to help our friends out. What amazed me is that she immediately jumped in with everything she had and figured out what she could do to help and made it happen. This is one great little example of her incredible ability to have real charity for everyone she knows.

3rd Day of Christmas...Charity part 1

2008-12-13T08:00:00.000-08:00

A picture of Whitney's extended family at Thanksgiving

Whitney absolutely loves her family! It is such a joy to go home with her and see her spending time with them. You can tell that they are the most important people in her life. The picture below is a picture that she took of her first (and so far – only) niece. She is dedicated to them and wants to do everything she can to help them to be happy. What really impresses me is that way that has dedicated herself to my family as well. Before she even met some of them, she has been interested in their lives, wanted to know about their lives, and immediately fell in love with them.

4th Day of Christmas....Hope

2008-12-12T08:00:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago, I was out at Whitney’s house watching a very important game of the OSU Beavers. It didn’t start off very well. The Beavers were doing absolutely horribly. Her dad and her brother were yelling at the TV every time they made a mistake, and I was sitting on the couch resigned to the fact that the Beavers just weren’t going to win. Whitney (and I should also say her mother) were criticizing the rest of us for giving up on them. For those of you who didn’t see it, the Beavers won in final seconds of the game.

Albeit this is a relatively unimportant example, it certainly is an example of Whitney’s ability to live her life full of hope. She always sees the best in every situation she faces. In addition, she always sees the best in people around her. That’s really good, because that means that she sees the best in me too!

5th Day of Christmas.....Faith

2008-12-11T08:00:00.000-08:00

Today begins a triptych (plus one) of reasons why I love Whitney. As I started to make the list of reasons that I love her, I found that a great number of them related to three great qualities that we find listed in the scriptures: Faith, Hope, and Charity.

As I think back to the times when I realized how amazing Whitney was, it was when I heard her pray. She approaches her Heavenly Father with a real sense of humility and sincerity. You can tell by the way that she addresses Him that she knows that He is real and that He loves her. Even better is that she lives her life in a way that shows her love for Him and shows her faith in Him. It is wonderful to see as she faces difficult times and decisions that she turns to Him and puts her trust in His promptings. Her strong faith has been such a strength and support to me.

6th Day of Christmas....Long suffering

2008-12-10T08:00:00.000-08:00

This picture is the "calm-whitney"

It’s really pretty difficult to get Whitney angry. That’s really lucky for me, because sometimes I can be pretty insensitive. I also tend to get angry about the simplest of things. Whitney, on the other hand, doesn’t really let things get to her. She can be working with the most frustrating people or placed in the most difficult situations, but she simply puts her head down and keeps on working, making the best she can out of any situation, and many times the situation gets even better because of her willingness to work with them.

Also, she has a great ability to calm other people down. When things around her are going absolutely crazy, she has the ability to think with a clear mind, calm everyone down, and get things done.

7th Day of Christmas...Courage

2008-12-09T08:00:00.000-08:00

There's just one word to say about this: Sushi.

So....I decided after I saw this post go up that I just HAVE to tell the sushi story....Thank goodness for the ability to edit posts!

I really like sushi. A LOT. I really like fish. A LOT. Whitney doesn't like fish that much, she only likes the Salmon that her grandpa catches and cooks fresh.

Whitney decided (after much cajoling from me) to try sushi, at least try it. Now lets realize the string of complications here: first off, she doesn't like cooked fish very well, so making it raw is just making it more difficult.

I tried to find a cooked sushi, and I think that I did. I was also excited, because she LOVED crag rangoon that she tried earlier, so I got the crab and cream cheese one (forgot the name of the roll), thinking we were moving along similar lines here. The deal was that we would have plenty of other food for her to eat, just in case she couldn't handle the sushi.

She almost gagged on her first bite. Apparantly sushi isn't for her, which I was okay with. I was really proud of her, though, for not spitting it out. She kept on chewing and eventually swallowed it.

THEN!! She tries it again! I was absolutely amazed! She said that she thought she might like it better with the second bite. That is courage! Almost gagging on the first one, and then diving in and trying it again!

She would totally rock on Fear Factor!

8th Day of Christmas...Supportive

2008-12-08T08:00:00.000-08:00

In a recent conversation with my Bishop out here in Illinois, he said “I just pray every day that all of you will make it through this difficult stage of your life, find good jobs, and get started with your families.” Through career decisions, the frustrations of school, financial worries, and family challenges, Whitney has been willing to support me and stand with me on all of them. I suppose that, to her, it probably doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, but to me it means that instead of having to stand alone, trying to figure out what is the best decision, I know that I will have someone who will listen to me, even argue with me if necessary, but in the end make a decision with me and support me in that decision. And that means the world to me!

The great thing is that, when Whitney says she supports me, it means so much more than just agreeing with the decisions that I (or we) have made. It means that she does everything in her power to make sure that I’m successful. From helping me out with the projects I have to do, or just making dinner while I work on them, or simply telling me that it’ll all turn out okay. It means so much to me that she is willing to sacrifice so much for my success. I would like to hope that I do the same for her.

(PS....this picture is not of the two of us! Although Whitney did take it, along with most of the pictures in this series)

9th Day of Christmas...Her Voice

2008-12-07T08:00:00.000-08:00

Well, while we are talking about it, we might as well discuss another one of the things that I find absolutely beautiful about Whitney, her voice. Whitney has two voices. Her first voice (even though its not the first one I heard) is her soprano/classical voice. She has an incredibly rich soprano voice and amazing talent for picking up a song really quickly (even though she doesn’t think so). Her second voice is the one that I fell in love with first. Its her “sultry” voice. If you haven’t heard her sing jazz, you would be absolutely amazed! It is so rich, low, and soulful! I was completely surprised that she was a soprano after I heard her sing like that!

What’s more important is that she loves music. That is something that is super important to me. She is singing all the time. I think its absolutely hysterical that she is already singing along to a song after she’s listened to for only 30 seconds! Who does that? She knows so much music and introducing me to so many different types of music. It certainly makes spending time with her wonderful!

10th Day of Christmas....An Eye for Beauty

2008-12-06T08:00:00.000-08:00

On top of being beautiful, Whitney has always had a real eye for beauty. Several years ago, Elder Scott gave a fireside for the members of the BYU Choirs. One of the most memorable things that he said was, “You people should be the happiest people in the world, because you can find beauty in the simplest of things.” This perfectly defines Whitney! She’s recently acquired herself a camera and has been taking tons of photos. This picture was taken just a couple of weeks ago while we were out on the coast.

Isn’t it absolutely beautiful? The thing that I think is most interesting about her eye is that it usually doesn’t take the type of pictures that everybody else takes, but ones that are taken from an unusual perspective, or particularly close up. What she’ll tell you is that she’s trying to come up with a perspective that most people usually haven’t looked at before, or that she’s showing how beauty can be found in the most un-beautiful things (just take a look at her picture of my desk at school! It’s a ridiculously old, falling apart and MESSY desk, btw). It is inspiring to see how she can find such beautiful things in the most basic situations!

She can even make me look good!

11th Day of Christmas....

2008-12-05T08:00:00.000-08:00

Alright, I know that girls want us guys to not be very shallow, and to fall in love with a girl for her personality, for her smarts, etc – and I’ll talk about all of that later – but, let’s face it, she’s beautiful! This is one of the first pictures that I took of her, and its still one of my favorites. Straight hair or curly, dress up or casual, early morning or night on the twon, makeup or not, she is always beautiful!

12 Days of....Christmas...??

2008-12-04T07:00:00.000-08:00

For those of you who don’t know, I’ve got a pretty impressive girlfriend. I decided that as part of her Christmas present this year. I would do a sort of “12 Days of Christmas” for her. But, of course, its going to have a few variants: First off, its going to be the “12 reasons I love her.” In addition, I decided that it would be a lot more fun to count down to the days until I get to see her again (Dec 15th). That probably has more to do with the fact that’s its gonna’ make these next couple of weeks a little more bearable. So, we start today. For those of you who aren’t Whitney, you may or may not enjoy this, but then again, I’m not writing it for you anyway

When I started to think about it, the first thing that popped into my head about Whitney was her smile. So it seems like it’s the best thing to start with, right? Whitney has the most beautiful smile. There are so many smiles out there that are tentative, forced, and insincere. Although Whitney does have one of those smiles (it mostly occurs when we’re having an awkward moment), her regular smile is something that spontaneously bursts out onto her face. Quite simply, it’s the result of her tendency to find joy in anything that is going on in her life. Which is really an accomplishment! If you really think about it, her life isn’t super exciting: she spends all day in a windowless office that is several stories underground dealing with books that are hundreds of years old. Then she gets to come home to a boyfriend who is four states away where sometimes her only contact with him is text messaging until 10:30 at night. But if you ever ask her how her day is going, you would think that she is living in the lap of luxury.

I remember asking her one day, “What makes you happy?” When most of us hear that question, we usually think of some specific situations that we love most. Whitney, on the other hand, has a whole list of things that make her happy. Some of the things on her list were complex, but so many of them were beautifully simple. She just knows how to be happy, even with the simplest of little things.

My favorite Christmas "Story"

2008-12-03T10:33:00.000-08:00

So...for years I have loved the message "Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus" simply because it says so much about what I think Christmas is really about. You can decide for yourself what he's really saying about Santa Claus, but it seems to be so very important, at least in my book. Even cooler is the fact that I found a digital image of the original publication! How cool is that?

And since none of you can read that...here it is typed out..at least the part I enjoy. Merry Christmas all!

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Christmas Soup!

2008-12-02T10:32:00.000-08:00

So...I've been trying to become more of a soup master of recent. I can make an alright chicken soup, and have a lot of success with that. I've also figured out some nice chilies and had a lot of success with those as well. But I wanted to try something different, something that at least looked like christmas, even if it didn't really taste like it. (A soup that tasted like christmas would have to be a dessert soup, although the wheels are turning now...) So, I figured I would make a soup that had a nice red base...what came to mind as I went into the store??

BEETS!!

So I combined Beets (3 Medium sized) with Sweet Potatoes (2 large ones) and boiled them in Chicken Broth until soft (The beets take a lot longer, so put them in first). Then I used my handy blender and smoothed it all out. Added a little more chicken broth, added some leeks (for the green part of my christmas soup) and let that simmer for awhile. Salt to taste. Then add some buttermilk. It tastes pretty dang good!

So, as I was reheating it for round two today. I realized a different kind of red soup that I would have a LOT more success with....Tomato! We'll see where it goes!

MORE SNOW!!

2008-12-01T14:00:00.000-08:00

I still haven't found the time to take a picture of it...maybe tomorrow. But this particular snowfall is absolutely beautiful. It started last night around 7 and continued all through the night and until after 1 this afternoon!

This weather creates the necessity to share my personal feelings about driving in the winter. There is, of course such a thing as driving too fast. But lets remember folks that there is such a thing as driving too slow! ESPECIALLY if there isn't that much snow under your tires!

Also, it means that its really time to start thinking about Christmas. I have the christmas music (classical christmas music, of course) running through the house, and my DVR is set to record all of the good ABC 25 days of christmas! What a great season!

100 Things I've done/ Haven't Done

2008-11-30T12:30:00.000-08:00

I saw this on Cherie's blog, and it seemed a lot of fun to do. I'm usually not one to copy blogs from others, but this one seemed worth it. The idea is that you Bold the things you've done.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Totally copied a post from someone else's blog to your own

Snow!

2008-11-30T11:15:00.000-08:00

Its a beautiful day! I absolutely love it when it snows like this! Its the first snow of the season (at least here in Illinois) and its so wonderful to see all of the trees covered with just a little bit of snow. What beautiful weather we have!

Rotate the picture....

2008-07-24T13:06:00.000-07:00

After I posted it, I noticed that it looks a lot better this way. Man I've been a real blogger today!

A Beautiful Trip up Spanish Fork Canyon

2008-07-24T10:01:00.001-07:00

So...this was quite awhile ago, but Mom, Whitney and I took a trip up Spanish Fork Canyon. Until this moment, the only thing that I thought of Spanish Fork Canyon is that crazy highway that is the most dangerous one in the State of Utah filled with tons of mines.

Low and behold, its a BEAUTIFUL PLACE!! Here are some pictures that we took, the cool tiny detail ones are Whitneys, she's pretty awesome at finding those little details. I hope you enjoy them!

A deeper thought.....

2008-07-23T15:40:00.000-07:00

I've been reading lots of my friends' blogs today and have been thinking a lot about responding to a lot of their posts. The funny thing is that, as I've started to think more about what I would want to say, I've noticed that I don't really have a lot to say.

Well...that's not completely true, I have plenty to say, you can ask Whitney, I have plenty of strong opinions, and I'm not afraid to voice them. The interesting thing is that I have this crazy tendency to see both sides of the situation.

So, when Becca talks about Abstinence being the real cure for AIDS, I totally agree with her! Its true, people should realize the consequences of their actions, and not expect the medical profession to cure them for them. At the same time, I think about the way the Atonement works, and I realize that, in some ways, that is exactly what the Atonement is doing for me. I make decisions that I know full well are in direct opposition to the laws of God, but I still do them, and I am so greatful for the atonement that allows me to be "cured" from those plagues. I can't imagine that people are saying to themselves "Who cares about AIDS! I'm gonna' do what I want, and if I end up with it, there's doctors that will cure me!"

Then there is the whole other load of people who totally deserve a cure to AIDS. These are people who either got it against their own volition or who aren't educated enough or don't have the resources to protect themselves (only 6.4% of AIDS cases exist in High Income/First World Countries). These people definitely deserve to have access to cures, and by those standards, I think AIDS truly is an epidemic.

But I still believe that people should be taught Abstinence and protection to be able to control the spread of AIDS.

So...what do i believe? I don't know, I'm not sure that I really can say I stand on one side or the other, I guess I just haven't made a decision.

Does that make me a fence sitter?

Formatting....

2008-07-23T14:14:00.000-07:00

Not much to be done about it, I'm just a loser with no HTML skills.... but you get the idea.

Really though, its been a wonderful summer, I can't think of a better one, or a better person to spend it with!

A Beautiful Girl

2008-07-23T14:10:00.000-07:00

Well, a lot of people who don't have facebook have been wanting to see pictures of the happy couple...so....here ya go!!

Ironically, very few of these pictures were actually taken over the summer. They were all taken at various times when I was visiting her or when she was visiting me.

Oh well...time flies when you're having fun!

Beautiful Weather!?!

2008-03-26T11:22:00.001-07:00

Why is it so much harder to get any work done when its a beautiful day outside?? It just makes you want to go for a nice walk, or read a good book, or take a nap on your lawn, not sit inside and make powerpoint slides about German/Italian Madrigals....arrrrrg

So a Little Change in Plans....

2008-02-28T22:45:00.000-08:00

As you will all notice (haha, I say all as if there are lots of you who read this) I'm making a determined effort to write more in my blog, to be less intimidated by trying to write really profound things, but at the same time I want it to be meaningful stuff, not just piff (context should help you with that one, just like in Jabberwocky) so we're gonna' try this scripture thing, and maybe a little bit more, we'll see.

Maybe I'll make a different blog for the more day to day things of my life, eh? But lets be honest, two blogs when I can't even keep up one?? Who knows....

2 Nephi 26:24-28

2008-02-28T22:26:00.000-08:00

24 He doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world; for he loveth the world, even that he layeth down his own life that he may draw all men unto him. Wherefore, he commandeth none that they shall not partake of his salvation.

25 Behold, doth he cry unto any, saying: Depart from me? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; but he saith: Come unto me all ye ends of the earth, buy milk and honey, without money and without price.

26 Behold, hath he commanded any that they should depart out of the synagogues, or out of the houses of worship? Behold, I say unto you, Nay.

27 Hath he commanded any that they should not partake of his salvation? Behold I say unto you, Nay; but he hath given it free for all men; and he hath commanded his people that they should persuade all men to repentance.

28 Behold, hath the Lord commanded any that they should not partake of his goodness? Behold I say unto you, Nay; but all men are privileged the one like unto the other, and none are forbidden.

This is one of those scriptural passages that I have probably read for years, and completely missed it every time. I kind of forgive myself, because it does happen shortly after the chapters which quote Isaiah, which are always a little bit more difficult to stay focused during, and these chapters are sort of written in the same style.

I do attribute my finding it to my decision to focus on scriptures that teach about Christ and the grace of Christ, otherwise I don't think it ever would have stuck out to me.

This scripture, to me at least, corroborates the idea that is so often forgotten, that the Grace of Christ is available to all of us for free, quite literally. So often I get this sense in myself that I have to arrive to a certain "minimum level of goodness" before the Atonement will really work for me. In many ways, it feels like Nephi is talking to guys like me, who really want to be good, and are painfully aware of how not good they are sometimes, and how often they don't always feel worthy of the Grace of Christ.

Nephi's response? "Where in the world did you get that idea?? Has Christ ever told anyone they weren't welcome? Even the vilest of sinners was invited to come unto Him. Why would you think that you were any different?"

In particular, I love the phrase: "buy milk and honey, without money and without price." The grace of Christ is free, there is no payment which we can offer, no list of tasks or self-punishments to be made before His grace can take effect in our lives? We simply have to come and partake.

Christmas Gifts

2007-11-28T19:54:00.000-08:00

There was always a little bit of a bite when I stepped outside to begin the walk home from campus, but today it was more of a surprise then usual. Guess this is what they meant when they talked about Illinois winters, "you'll need to wear two coats" a friend told me. True to form, my phone came to life - buzzing in my pocket, reminding me that someone had called while I studied deep in my office in the performing arts center. Today my sister in law Rachel left today's message.

"So, now that's Thanksgiving is over, I'm starting to think about Christmas, and I just wanted to see what kinds of things you needed, so we can get it for you."

It's been years since anyone in my family has tried to surprise me. For the past few years, my mom just deposits money into my account and lets be buy my own presents, sometimes even wrap them. It all stems from the last time they surprised me:

I wanted a bird.

Well, really I wanted a cello.

But I wanted a bird, mostly because my parents said they couldn't afford a cello.

I was certain I was going to get a bird. I even thought I heard it chirping in the basement.

The whole family was excited to see my face when I came running down the stairs and saw what was now my cello lying under the Christmas tree.

The only thing I saw was that there wasn't a bird there, and I cried.

As I sat on the stairs, it never occurred to me that my parents had probably searched far and wide to try and find a cello, and how they had probably cut into their own Christmas present budgets a little bit to be able to afford it. It didn't occur to me that they were so excited to have gotten something for me that was really going to surprise me, or how hurt they would be if they knew I wasn't happy with it.

I just knew that it wasn't a bird.

I still have that cello, and I have used it for years. Every time I pull it out, I am reminded of the work that my parents went through to get it for me, and it becomes a little more important, a little more valuable than just a student cello. It becomes a symbol of my mother and father's love.

The cold chill cut through my wool coat as I crossed the street into my neighborhood. I pulled my scarf around me a little bit tighter to keep the wind out. It was probably the oddest scarf that I own: red, blue, and white yarn hand knitted to an disproportionately long length. A middle aged women in Italy knit it for me. She made one for me and each of my five friends - missionaries for the church that she chose to join while were there. It was her Christmas present to us. She made mine long because she knew I needed a long scarf to be able to put it around my neck the way I liked without choking myself. I can't imagine the number of hours that it must have taken her to knit all of those scarves for us. But every time I wrap that scarf around my neck, I think of her and the wonderful time spent together that Christmas season.

In fact, many of my favorite gifts tie back to the circumstances in which they were given: The roadside emergency kit from my sister and brother in law that sits safely in the trunk of my car, the elmo doll that my niece grabbed from her toy pile and asked her mom to wrap it for me on Christmas eve, the book of favorite family recipes that my mom made for us, when she couldn't afford much else.

Its funny how as we grow older, the what in Christmas giving matters less and less, while the who matters more and more. It is less about what my family and friends give me, and more that they gave me something that reminds me of them, and lasts long after the Christmas season is gone.

His Eye is on the Sparrow

2007-04-22T18:04:00.000-07:00

In church today, the primary subject was about finding inner peace. The speakers gave all sorts of wonderful ideas about finding peace: acting righteously, serving, trusting the Lord, etc. As usually happens in church, my mind wandered in its own direction pretty quickly, but I usually let it go, trusting that the Lord is guiding my mind into areas that he thinks are the most important.

The launching point was when I thought about the times in the past when I have felt a little bit of unrest. Of course, my mind went directly to the past few weeks where I have been unceasingly worried about whether not I was even going to get into graduate school. I had been given a verbal acceptance at my audition, but it had been over a month and I still hadn't received verbal acceptance from the University. I had begun looking for jobs, thinking that they simply had decided I wasn't worth their time. The job hunt was equally bleak, and I wasn't sure what to do. I was really worried about what I was going to do with my life, and I have to admit that I was a little bit frustrated. After all, I felt like God had given me a pretty strong prompting that Illinois was where I supposed to go, I had even canceled other auditions because the prompting was so strong, but I still hadn't received that ever important letter. Every time I prayed about it, I begged that I would get the letter that day, or at least that God would help me know that everything would all work out. The only answer I received was "You haven't learned the lesson yet..." My response was, "Let me know what I'm supposed to learn, and believe me I'll learn it!"

Well he did. I was talking with my professor one day during my lesson, we had already talked a lot about my concern, and of course our conversation had migrated towards the still absent letter. He stopped for a minute and then said "Prepare for the life that you have planned." A little confusing? I thought so...apparantly my face thought so as well. So he tried going about it a different way. "Don't go looking for a window until the door is actually closed." That made a lot more sense. I felt like I had made the right decisions, I felt that God had strongly encouraged me to make a career out of conducting, and I felt like He had guided me in my decisions concerning Graduate school. So why was I assuming that the proverbial door had been closed? Why didn't I trust that God had it all worked out and that everything would be taken care of. After all, wasn't that the lesson I was supposed to learn?

Not quite.

I went to walk home from my lesson and ran into one of my friends who lived a few houses down from me. She asked me what was up, and I told her. I told her about how I had gone to Illinois and felt so strongly that it was the place where I was supposed to be, I told her about how miraculous things had come into line to make sure that everything worked out. I told her that he had verbally accepted me in my interview. Then I told her how worried I was that I hadn't got an acceptance letter from the University yet. Most people respond by saying "Didn't he tell you that you were in? What are you worried about?" This friend approached it differently. She asked "Didn't you feel right about it? What are you worried about?"

Now there's a real lesson. It brought to mind a scripture from the Doctrine and Covenants: "Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?" (D&C 6:23) I feel strongly that God had been very clear to me that Illinois was the place where I should continue my studies. If that is the case, and I really do believe, than why I am I worried about whether or not I will get in? What could possibly get in the way if that is God's plan for me?

Then I started to think about all of the times that I feel like God has really taken care of me in the past while. The times where I know that he has been watching me, helping me, and guiding me, because the cause that I was working toward was so incredibly important to Him. I felt Him prompt me in my own life to make decisions that would help me to be a better person. I know that He is deeply involved in what I am doing. I know, however, that there is nothing that would make me more important than anyone else, so if He's doing it for me, I'm sure I'm not the only one.

What greater peace could I be given? What greater lesson could I learn from the late letter? Quite simply that God is watching out for me, that He knows what I need, and that the things that he has planned for me, are ALWAYS for my good. That is peace which passeth ALL understanding.

Welcome

2007-04-22T17:20:00.000-07:00

Well...who knows how this is going to turn out, my ponderings are definitely not prolific yet, but here's hoping that they will be. I created this blog because I wanted to have someplace where I could put my thoughts and ideas, as I hope that they will be a lot more interesting than a journal entry. I want to have someplace where I can just talk about my thoughts without any pretense of formal writing, although I certainly hope that it will work out!! Happy ponderings!